THIS WEBSITE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION, AS YOU CAN TELL FROM THE CRUDE LOGO!

OTHER SECTIONS PLANNED

ABOUT SECTION

YOUTUBE

RECIPES

LONDON UNDERGROUND AND BUSES 

SOFTBALL

INSTAGRAM

FLASHTORTOISE WILL BE REBRANDED SAINTJACQUES.CO.UK

12/09/20 - Anyone Who Supports A Second 'Actual' Lockdown Is Insane

05/08/13 Well well well, I haven't been here for quite a long time. Time for a few updates.

So it's finally happened. I've been replaced by some lame-ass robot. Your adverts still suck, Confused.com!
This means that I will be working full time here. And hey, this means that I don't ever have to hang out with that creepy "Bertha" again. Or that bizarre dog.

21/01/13 You know, when I was in secondary school, I worked on a secret London Underground project. A station for each person in the DAOS class of 2012. So you can see my project. It's not really a project but it's pretty cool, though the lines are a bit contrived, and it's a bit strangely connected. And Kitten Cat should be Kaminski.

Here it is, if you're interested.
I'm doing one for Imperial College too, and it is hardly finished.
 

30/08/12 Buttons, Buttons. The top five buttons are fully functioning, but the bottom five haven't been finished yet.


'Tortoise Games' has now got a listing of games, their icons, brief descriptions and lists of enemies and hopefully they'll be available for download soon.


Cara's recipe book links to a chocolate cake recipe that I use all the time, which deviates slightly from Angela Nilsen's recipe. The recipe was available for Didula to download.


Arthur's Corner, suggested by Arthur and Miguel in a physics lesson, hasn't been started yet.


The Other Games... haven't been started yet. For Chip's Challenge updates, check pieguy's Chip's Challenge site for the levelsets: Jacques.dat, JacquesS1.dat, JacquesOld.dat, JacquesMedium.dat, JacquesS2.dat, JacquesS2Rejects.dat and KobaM1.dat.


For the time being, Big F's link dump will lead to 'How Many Blue Ribbons Left", a site which will be updated when original titles to Blue Ribbon reissued cartoons are found. It also contains a LT DVD guide and some LT DVD suggestions. If you're reading, WB, take my suggestions! :P
LT STANDS FOR LOONEY TUNES

02/06/12 After that awful M4 paper (Screw you, Edexcel!), I have done a bit of work on the 'Tortoise on a Carousel' section.

Cara: The old composition PDF has just had an overhaul, with six extra pieces, better commentaries, and info on who these compositions were for.

28/05/12 Well, an exam period really puts you in inspiration for your website!

Cara: I have been doing some work on the Tortoise on a Carousel Separate Pieces pages. The separate pieces for the Latter Era are almost finished, I just have to make more images. It looks a lot better than the bare bones version, doesn't it? The separate pieces for the Early Era are all going to be uploaded (MIDIs). Also coming soon, "Memories of Pope Paul", where the pieces for the people in my primary school year are titled by their names, all in register order... How do I still remember the register after seven years?!

Oh hi. It's me, the mysterious Big F. My real name is Donald Fishwich, by the way. The 'Other Games' section will feature the non-DOND games that were on this page, plus some levels I have done for Chip's Challenge and Super Mario World, which are available for download. The 'Jacques Link Dump' section is where you'll soon find my playlist, and other links which don't really fit into the main sections. They are both under construction.

27/05/12 This is gonna be risky, but since school has ended, I'm going to do something. It does involve a certain thing in my yearbook entry. Zaw, here's a clue.
Jacques, Cara and Big F will unveil the reopening of...

Tortoise Games, Rebranded Green Kitten Enterprises! All my old games, made from 2005-2012. Be warned, you may discover some embarrassing photos...

Green Kitten Enterprises

Cara has opened her recipe book, but it only contains the recipe for chocolate cake so far. Watch this space!

26/05/12 Welcome to the future, guys. If you want to follow me on Twitter, and Tumblr, here's a few links.

Twitter - mosttiptopcat
Tumblr - Green Kittens Aren't Aliens
Anand will like this one - NUMA - My N Maps
These links will make their way to the new Link Dump section.

Hey guys, Cara here. I will soon unveil a recipe for White Chocolate Cake, shamelessly copied from another website, but refined for easier baking! It's really tasty, but it has a dark nickname associated with it.

Diabetes on a Plate.


Jacques here. I've just dug up the missing buttons from site before we changed it. Who doesn't love a bit of website history? I gave up on flash years ago; so the flash buttons were redundant. Tortoise Games and Tortoise Blog had their hyperlinks removed, so they were also made redundant. It was probably in fear of Waz finding out about the Waz Game. What a waste!

25/05/12 Yeah. Big F gets his own playlist. Who the F is Big F? My mysterious third mascot... You will never know him. But he's a Looney Tunes Fan! Check the Link Dump.

Hey, it's Cara. Work has just begun on the Sonatas page! Hope you enjoy them! In the meantime, watch a Looney Tunes cartoon. And don't tell Big F, or Donald the Bully! :D

24/05/12 I have updated the site slightly, with new stuff, and coming attractions. Check this space. The Sonatas page is getting a huge overhaul as I present them to the people they were written for. Also, sorry Arthur, I'm not making a games section for my site. Have fun, guys! Also, welcome the great Cara, who will accept any suggestions for the site.

Hi guys. I've escaped those corny adverts and that weird huge bosomed lady... and I'll just be around this site. If you have any suggestions for the site, you can e-mail me here!
For Jake Elliott, your YouTube poop will involve me, and a certain Haribo family!

11/02/11 You want a Macromedia Flash *ahem* Adobe Flash journey? Well... there never was one. It was just a place to bypass the Hertfordshire Grid for Learning.
I've gotten rid of all the useless buttons (some which led to nowhere. There's still that shitty old flash I made in 2008 if you really want to see it. Click on Tortose on a Carousel for all my pieces I made at GCSE. Click on Noel's Bumchum Mr. Blobby for Deal or No Deal games. FindTocar is old news, but still pretty funny, and my YouTube account has Looney Tunes episodes... who can't like them? Enjoy the new site! Oh, if you want to see that "hilarious" Sonic thing, click here.

A big screw you to Hertfordshire Grid for Learning.

Looking for Deal or No Deal games? Follow Mr. Blobby.

The games below will be moved to a new location: Other Games.

For Awinnie - Impossible Quiz!

For Awinnie - Impossible Quiz 2!

Cats Food Feud. - Not a game.

Suraj's Jumble. - Not a game.

Fishy.

James Fung is Evil.

Link Dump! This stuff will soon be moved to a new location.

Cats Food Feud. - Story for GCSE where I got 27/27! You legend, Jeckel.

Suraj's Jumble. - Why did I write this story? Also the guy is meant to be called Dragibus...!

Chocolate Cake Recipe for the one and only Didula Perera!

My ratings out of 10 for all the Looney Tunes cartoons I've watched.

Big F playlist.

29/09/08 This site was started on the 29th September. Seems like a long time away, doesn't it. When I thought I was going to go on an amazing Flash expedition. It failed miserably, didn't it? Now this is just a place to relax, play Deal or No Deal, and listen to my GCSE compositions.



 

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