2021
2021 was quite the year. We started the year in lockdown III, but we had vaccines on the horizon – so I was feeling far more positive this time round rather than the depressed and harmful state I was during lockdown 1.
I was confident that softball and baseball would be back next year. Those are my vices, that make life worth living for me. I disregarded all the defeatist messages I received. I went out and got equipment. Bats, cleats, the whole lot. I practiced with a couple of friends.
To keep me sane I had a myriad of coloured pencils, a ruler and an old circular protractor. I also had my new Mac. My day job also kept me extremely busy.
I handled it extremely well and had ways to get the time to pass by. I went for very long walks (around 30km each time) as well. I can’t say I enjoyed it, but I coped a lot better than during lockdown 1.
My only concerns were the difficulty in seeing my family, especially my mum.
I set a few goals in the last week of 2020, whilst spending Christmas with my aunt and cousins. Some were recycled goals I had set in 2019, but they were impossible to achieve. I misplaced the list but, to the best of my memory, they were as follows:-
1 – Completion of The Hand-Drawn Map (Version 5)
The map (hand-drawn) is complete! Just in time for the new year, I have got it scanned. As you read this, I’m processing it through Affinity Photo and should have it uploaded this week. This new map was completed almost six years after I finished the previous version. I took the time to make sure every line and angle was as precise as possible, even going as far as ensuring the thickness of the lines themselves were as consistent as they could be. I am very happy with the result, and it is hanging on my wall.
I had long wanted to draw a new version, because of my new job. My new colleagues needed to have Underground stations, seeing as I was working for the London Underground. Also, not only the endless number of Raiders I was meeting but other softballers; with all this, space was running out.
I also wanted to add a Crossrail network and a more developed tram network too. Years of sketches and planning, along with two drafts – and I finally completed it after buying a lot of coloured pencils, a lot of hard work and late nights. As much as I hated and opposed lockdowns, if it were not for them, I likely would not have had the time to complete my map this year.
Next year I’m either going to focus on a new map, and/or finish developing the bus network in the city – more maps!
If you’d like to see the map and a more detailed story behind it, visit saintjacques.co.uk/sjta.html
2 - Creation of Digital Map
In 2020, my trusty, eight-year-old laptop broke. The hard-drive went kaput (thankfully I had everything backed-up. I decided it worthwhile to purchase a new laptop.
I had always wanted to get a Mac as they are more suited to graphic designing. I had long wished to create a digital version of my map for many years – and now there was an opportunity to splash out and get a Mac to achieve this.
I tried using my old laptop at the time, but it was too slow and not suited for what I wanted to create. I had tried using free software, but it wasn’t working to my desire. I had no plan or strategy to create the map either, so what I created failed miserably and was thrown to the bin.
With the new Mac and some reasonably priced software (Adobe Illustrator is far too expensive, Affinity Designer is cheaper and does the job perfectly well), I familiarised myself with the software and then just dove straight in. (I did have a plan this time and it seemed to flesh out nicely to create a reasonably successful attempt). I started in October 2020 but focused on the hand-drawn for the time being. I did little bits here and there but didn’t turn my attention until later in 2021.
Map done, then the zones, then the key – and I finished everything during my summer holidays in Corsica when I had far more free time. I am very pleased with the attempt, so I got it printed – it’s now hanging in my kitchen/living room. Somehow, a few stains have managed to appear on it. Hmm.
Next year, I might draw a complete bus map of the city. I have made a start…
The digital map is also on my site, saintjacques.co.uk/sjta.html
3 – My Best Baseball Season Ever!
I returned to baseball after a two-and-a-half-year hiatus. I gave up mid-way during the 2018 season after endless strikeouts. In 2019 I played just one game, and in 2020 I didn't even get to play a full game. In 2021 I returned to (sort of) regular playing. I chose to play for another team within the club, armed with my outfield experience.
My batting average was above the Mendoza line this time, perhaps the first time ever! I finished the season batting .391. (My batting average on the website is wrong, the first game of the season was not recorded – in that game I went 2 for 2). In 2018 I swear, I must have been batting around .050! The key, I believe, was confidence walking up to the plate. I replaced lamenting in my head 'Oh, time to humiliate myself in front of everyone once again because I'm utter shit and can't hit a ball if it was placed on a tee right in front of me' on approach to the plate, with 'Walk up to the plate bat first, BAM!' and 'Slaying average, 1.000.' And it worked. It’s always good fun to think of new walk-up lines, and it keeps me loose, but fierce. Yes, I've had some horrendous games, but I can’t name a single game this year where I struck out in every single plate appearance. Perhaps the pitching was a little slower, but I don’t think this is the case. In fall ball, I was able to hit off some pitchers who usually pitch in double-A or triple-A, and occasionally, NBL. Unless it’s top-level for England I feel I have a good chance in getting some contact.
Not only that, I also pitched for the first time in a league game. My teammates are very supportive and seem to be very impressed, but let's face it, I have more work to do because it isn't stunning. When I bomb it gets ugly (I had some right porkers of innings in fall ball). I'll stick to my LF/CF, but don't mind the odd change once in a while!
I strongly believe confidence is such an important component in good batting. I’ve had quite the turbulent baseball experience. My first ever season playing baseball – in the freezing months of winter (welcome to university baseball), I started off pretty awful, but got the odd few hits near the end of the season. This continued during the beginning of second year.
Unfortunately, my wish to play different positions, especially during friendly games, was never granted. I grew resentful of outfield, thinking it to be a lesser position compared to the more active infield spots. I wanted to be a second baseman – but better players were filling these spots. (Ironically, I now consider second base to be one of my least favourite positions in the field!) I was exclusively in right field, which I saw at the time as completely pointless. I thought I was the worst player in the team because of it. Thus began my baseball confidence issues.
The captain at the time correctly pulled me to one side and told me to stop complaining and embrace the position, but it was hard to agree when I would often spend games not doing anything. My batting then started to dip and never really recovered. Ultimately, I was not selected for the team during my last year for the March tournaments, which put a damper on my university baseball experience. Sadly, this was a small trigger to my depression in 2015.
I returned to baseball in 2016 with the Mets and it started off alright, but in the middle of the season I kept on striking out and again, my confidence dissipated. There was one infamous game in Leicester where I struck out six times. I’d thought I’d get kicked off the team. 2017 and 2018 were the same – I would feel good for the first couple of games but then the confidence would run out quickly and I would strike out repeatedly from then on. I thought I was losing the respect of my teammates. I’d be kicked out. I became anxious that they would probably joke about how useless I was behind my back.
2021 was different. I had the confidence boost and kept it throughout the whole season. .391 isn’t amazing but it’s something I can improve on for next season.
I have grown to love outfield, not only in baseball but in softball too. Most of my all-time favourite games, especially in softball; were when I had a lot of work to do and a lot of catches to be made playing outfield (the Orange v Banditos game and the Red v Parrots game are two softball games I remember vividly). I have embraced my fielding position, but I play mostly left field and centre field rather than right field. I haveplayed right field a few times during league games, including one game this year. Ironically, I had a fair few balls coming my way each time! It does help that there is a lot more work to be done in the outfield during league games compared to university where you could stand in the field doing nothing.
These days, I’m not sure which I prefer – left field or centre field. But there'll be a lot of it in 2022 (probably the former).
4. Movin’ On Up - Softball
A lot of Raiders will remember how utterly boring I was to speak to pre-2020. Every conversation would lead to passionate rants about how much I wanted to move up within the club. I had chosen to captain 2019 for Raiders Orange, having enjoyed it immensely in 2018. One of my good friends on the team in 2018 had convinced me to rescind my captaincy and go for a higher team, but I didn't listen to her in the end.
I had hoped to have most of my players again for the 2019 season, as we managed to bag a few wins in 2018. However, many moved up as they needed to due to people leaving. However, with a great co-captain and some nice new players, we could get even more wins than we did in 2018. Full throttle I went - even doing intro videos before each match and little warm up plans each week. It quickly fizzled out and I lost my mojo. I viewed the match reports of other teams with envy. I wanted to be there so badly. My enthusiasm waned and I apologise to my co-captain and team at the time.
However, later in the season, I snapped up a few opportunities to play on higher teams and managed to do well on Gold. I would think this would put me in good stead for the selections next year, but everyone knows what happened next. So, in 2021, when softball returned and a season could be played, I was ever more determined to be placed on a higher team. From February I was doing batting practice, with my brand-new bat, with a couple of friends who also wanted to practice - so my hitting was on point by the time official Raiders training started.
The day I was waiting for – team selection trials – was rained out. To my surprise, that very day selections were made anyway, and Raiders Red had selected me. I was elated. I had wanted this for years. To the relief of many other Raiders, I wouldn’t bloody rant about teams anymore. This was just the start - I couldn't just get on Red and call it a day. I needed to play to the best of my ability and prove myself. I needed to do what I could to stay at that level.
It was a really good season, as enjoyable as my very first season in 2016. Though I didn't get to pitch (though when you have another person on your team who can pitch excellently, you do not waste him, especially when I am better at other positions, particularly outfield, due to my baseball experience), I really enjoyed not only playing my main position (outfield) but actually playing 2B, 3B and even SS! These weren’t positions I played regularly, and I did not put myself there whilst captaining myself, so it was great fun getting to know these places in the field a lot better. Perhaps I could try those positions for baseball next year, as I didn’t fare too badly! The season was greatly captained, might I add. I was still able to pitch in many tournaments to keep my skills ticking over.
In the 9 games I played, I finished with a 0.833 AVG, 1.5 SLG, 2.4 OPS with 6 home runs. I like to keep my stats as they are kept in baseball. Hopefully I've done enough to be kept on next year - would love to bring the team to a promotion in 2022. The goal is… more home runs of course.
Next year I also hope to be able to represent the club in B-Grade tournaments. (Part of me also wants to try A-Grade, honestly). Softball is where I am the most competitive. I am so excited for the 2022 season.
5. The Pink Card I’ve Always Wanted
If I didn't go to Corsica every year, I don’t think I would even have a provisional driving license.
Corsica is rather different from London. There aren't double-decker buses nor is there a regular train service. In fact, there are no buses within 40 km of where my mum lives. There is a train line which only runs up to 7 services a day, but even that is 25km away as the crow flies, and a heck of a lot more if you want to get to the nearest train station. The supermarket and beach are both 15km away. The only thing around is the bar. You need a car to live in Corsica.
In summer, each year I had to beg my friends (or even other people) to take me to the beach. I appreciate and am thankful 100% for those who gave me a ride. But to me, I found it very much awkward and pathetic that I had to beg people for rides. Coming from someone who was independently raised (my dad often left me home alone for long periods by the time I was 14 - don’t worry, I loved every second of those times) I prefer to do things myself instead of asking for help. It is so unnatural and there is a level of demeaning for me to ask people to do favours for me (bear in mind that even though I am French, there is still a slight barrier, and I am not fully myself when I am in France - I am a lot less talkative and confident).
My driving started in 2015. It was just the odd lesson here and there, but I found I couldn't really afford regular lessons. My driving progress sort of just dissipated. When I started working, I was able to get some lessons in, with a new and very good instructor, though they were also irregular. My first practical driving test would eventually be booked for June 2017, my last chance before my theory test at the time ran out. I would hopefully pass just in time for the holidays. Unfortunately, after taking a turning too wide, I failed. For now, I just simply gave up at that point.
In 2019 I was getting ever more frustrated with the situations in Corsica. Arguments over the front seat, the music, general discomfort. I was getting very much insecure about everything. I decided to return to achieving a driving test pass, so I booked my theory test yet again (by that time I got so good at that hazard perception test that I was getting scores over 70/75!) and got some more lessons in. Test 2 was booked for October - the goal was to pass in time for my Christmas holidays where I could learn to drive the perilous mountain roads (it’s easier in winter where there are far fewer cars than in summer). Unfortunately, I failed due to not leaving enough space, in the eyes of the examiner, when changing lanes on the A10.
I was due to go to Corsica in the winter (I love love LOVE winter holidays there. Much more peaceful and more time with my mum. It is the ultimate resting holiday after a busy year. I hope to go back next winter, once all this nonsense has stopped). However, my mum just drove me every all the time. Once again, it's very infantilising. I was 25 at the time. I really shouldn’t need to be driven everywhere like a teenager. I need to grow up. Our trips were also very long distance - often over 100km, there and back.
Test 3 was just in time before my holiday, December 2019. The test was failed within 5 minutes. When stopping then pulling out, a car just appeared out of nowhere. My mind must have been blank at that very moment. It looked like this would be another year of my poor mum driving us everywhere, yet again. It was a shame, as this was by far the nicest examiner I had.
Test 4... February 2020. Failed due to a stupid mistake I made whilst a passenger was crossing. So angry I was that when I returned home, I threw a chair on the floor and broke it. With apologies to my housemate. He kindly offered to let me do a bit of practice with his car, he knew how frustrated I was.
A few days before lockdowns were imposed in England, I was due for Test 5. Fifth time lucky, I had hoped. Only for an e-mail to pop up minutes before the start of the test, informing its cancellation. Typical.
Due to these events, I would not drive for a long time. My theory test ran out and the DVLA was not willing to extend the validity of the theory tests, so it had to be passed yet again – the fourth time! I yet again passed the test in September 2020. By now I was kind of bored of doing them (and managed to get 73/75 on the Hazard Perception Test)! Because of covid-19, driving tests were suspended for quite a while. I had one booked for February but, due to the third lockdown, it was delayed further. Finally, 21 June 2021 (the original Freedom Day) would be the date of my next test.
I was apprehensive about the upcoming test and thought to reschedule it to later date. However, I surmised that there would be huge backlogs of people applying for their tests, and it was possible that I would have to wait a long amount of time until another available date (perhaps not being able to take one until 2022). I decided to go for it as practice as it had been over a year since I took the wheel.
By that time, it was the beginning of June. My disorganised self may have blown it already. I was too far away from my current driving instructor, so I called quite a few in the area. I ended up with a new one, but he was based in Wood Green. He was a little daffy, he used a lot of tough love, but everything came back to me quickly.
Then came the test. I always sleep badly the day before a test, and this was no different. I was hoping for a friendly examiner. The pre-test morning, I was a hot mess - I pretty much almost pissed myself just before the test - and worse, it was raining. Every other test I did, I was lucky that the weather was good.
Things didn’t go so well at the start. The examiner seemed to be in a foul mood. This made me even more nervous. Usually in my tests a manoeuvre would be performed near the end of the test, but this time I was asked to do one within the first 5 minutes. It took me two tries to get the parallel park correct so I had thought I had failed the test already. Within 5 minutes, again! I thought of asking my examiner if I could give up and drive back to the test centre, but I decided otherwise. Just complete the rest of the test for practice.
Absolutely nothing went wrong for the remainder of the test. The corner where I failed the first test? No problem, I slowed down and took the turning perfectly. Changing lanes on the A10? I looked in the mirror and made sure there was enough distance from another vehicle for me to do so. Pulling to the side and restarting? I bloody well looked straight at the road to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. We arrived back at the test centre. “Same time next year, then eh?”, I defeatedly joked to my examiner. “Why are you saying same time next year”, he responded back.
I had passed. 5 minors, the fewest I had ever had. So excited I was that I almost had an out of body experience. In the chaos I had misplaced my provisional driving license, which I had to hand to the examiner. What a day that was. I called my parents. I messaged my friends. I got me some take-away and a beer.
Just in time for the summer holidays of 2021, I got my driving license. I can finally drive! How smug I was when I showed my pink card to my friends and family in Corsica. ‘You’re 26 and you don’t have a driving license? What are you doing with your life?’ ‘WELL, I HAVE ONE NOW. LOOK AT HOW PINK MY CARD IS. I passed my test in the busy suburbs. That’s fifty times harder than where you did your test, thank you very much.’ I’m driving now. I cannot wait for the future. I will always insist on driving. Front seat every time. My car, my music. I could only dream of that a few years ago, sitting in the back of my friend’s car. Better yet, I’ve always wanted to explore a lot more of Corsica. I’ve always wanted to go to places like Calvi and Ile Rousse, but I don’t really like sitting in the back seat of someone else’s car for a very long distance (that’s why I was always reluctant for the long trips).
My first official drive after passing - a drive from Alistro to Ghisonaccia, then Ghisonaccia back to U Pagliaghju (a restaurant just before the mountain roads of peril begin). About 70km in total. Just beautiful.
I’m due to go to Corsica in February for my restful holiday. I should hope France withdraws its utterly ridiculous travel restrictions by then. This would be a good time to learn the mountain roads so I’m ready for the summer 2022 holiday! I’ll rent a car – and I am always happy to take people down to the beach every single day, if you are willing to travel in my car (I understand if you might have doubts, seeing as we drive on the opposite side in England).
6 – Jubilee Line Working Timetable No. 17
I joined the timetable office in 2017 with the goal of writing London Underground Working Timetables (which can be found on the TfL site by searching TfL WTTs). Every Underground Timetable has its author's name on the first page. Makes you look important!
The whole team of 16 people write about 500 timetables during the year. The WTTs are the cream of the crop, as that is what is operating when there are no closures. WTTs are usually compiled by the most experienced in the office. The vast majority of the 500 timetables that are written are either for engineering work, special services or Christmas services. Most are used once or twice and are then thrown away (but I always keep my copies… until they sadly stopped sending printed copies to the office. My collection is forever ruined!)
By 2020, I began to get frustrated at work. I had by then wrote around 80 timetables, around 50 Friday/Monday alteration lists, all packaged in 40 timetable books, over 7 different lines. I had done more than previous compilers by the time they got to do their first WTT. Writing a WTT seemed to be a rite of passage in the office.
After making my goals clear, an opportunity arose to compile a Working Timetable. Unfortunately, this was for a line I had not once touched before. But due to my constant campaigning, I got given the opportunity. I thank my team leader for this.
The Jubilee line is a deceptively difficult line. You might think it's just one simple line, without any branches. Easy. However, it proved to be a very challenging line (and with a WTT, the timetable has got to be absolutely perfect). The biggest challenge for the Jubilee line is getting Stratford to work. Getting trains to Stratford Market Depot from an extremely busy Stratford is a very difficult and frustrating procedure to get correct without any conflictions. Bear in mind that you can only start or stable a train from a depot every 5 minutes, otherwise you give the shunters (those in charge of putting the trains away) a very hard time. You also have Neasden Depot where trains need to start and stable. You must get the trains out of Neasden Depot without disturbing the Metropolitan Line. Though the Jubilee Line mostly starts/stables its trains through a flyunder which travels under the Metropolitan Line tracks to get to the depot, a few trains do not.
There were a lot of late nights and a lot of frustration, especially with Stratford Market Depot. There were times where after I finished work for the day, often past 7:00, where I snapped at my housemates due to the frustration! But I finally conquered the challenge.
It is a controversial timetable, there are some minor service cuts on Monday to Friday off peak, Saturday and Sunday mornings. But it has my name, and it is special to me (it's due to be replaced in May 2022 when Night Tube returns on the Jubilee). The day it was printed I took a copy home with me.
I have my WTT sorted, but I'm not done yet – there are still goals I want to achieve at work.
I have now compiled timetables for 8 lines:- Bakerloo, Central, Circle/Hammersmith & City, District, Jubilee, Metropolitan, Piccadilly and Victoria. I will be working on the 9th line when I return to work after my break – I am due to write a Northern Line timetable. This just leaves the Waterloo & City Line. I’ll beg for my boss to let me do one day of the Waterloo & City line Christmas timetables then I’ll never bother him again. Just one day. It’ll take me a day to compile it. Please. Also, my Metropolitan line timetable doesn’t really count as it was a copy and paste job, but we can pretend I did the whole thing. I’m sure there’s far more opportunities for Metropolitan line timetables, anyway, especially compared to the Waterloo & City.
I’m hoping to do another Working Timetable again next year, and it’ll likely be either District or Circle/Hammersmith & City this time, as those are the lines I mainly work on.
If you’re curious enough to see my Working Timetable it is here (Sundays is mine).
7. A New Sport
I didn’t just play baseball at university, I also played dodgeball now and again. In first year, I occasionally turned up for sessions. During second year (when I was far more involved in all my societies), I played every other week. In third year, I was more immersed in the club. As much as I loved my baseball family at university, they weren’t the most social. It was quite frustrating when each time we thought of doing a social at Goldmine, one of my favourite restaurants, they decided they wanted to just go to Eastside bar instead! The dodgeballers were more willing to go to the sports nights at the union bar on Wednesdays so I went along with them and had a good time. The baseballers were never willing to go, unfortunately.
I was never much good at dodgeball (I was there for fun… and to get a shirt. I love collecting sports shirts/jerseys). I never actually played in a tournament. I didn’t feel I was good enough. I didn’t have the confidence I do now – I thought if I had played, I would be the greatest liability and would make enemies with some of the other members. In hindsight I would have liked to play in a tournament.
Whilst doing some work on the SJTA map I was working on fine-tuning the bus network in the area of the city where all the Imperial dodgeballers were. At that point I thought, softball and baseball are done for the year, and I need another sport to keep me going instead of rotting at home every winter evening.
Seeing as there were a couple of ex-Imperial players, I decided to go to some of the London Storm sessions. The amount of fun I had in the chaos. It was a quiet session first time, and there weren’t too many people going to the pub afterwards. Hmm. I was used to staying in the pub until late with the Raiders. I was hoping there’d be some good socials. Ah, but things were different during my second session. There were a lot more pub-goers and it was a blast. That’s more like it! This is just like the Raiders. Somehow, I got ‘player of the week’ this time as well.
So, I’ve now joined the club, which is extremely friendly. If things go well, perhaps I might do some fun, friendly tournaments next year. Let’s make that a 2022 goal. I’d also love a shirt; they look so sleek!
Things will be difficult once baseball and softball become full steam ahead (and I either have baseball training or softball games on Tuesdays). Playing two sports at the same time is hard enough – three? Probably not – this will just be my winter sport for the time being.
8 – Family Matters
This is just a small goal, but it sure does mean a lot.
There were times during lockdown III where I got emotional. ‘Will I ever see my mum again?’ My housemate assured me that of course I would. I booked my flights and knew I would have to book lots of tests (I do think that there is a lot of profit in testing which Is why it’s so expensive!).
My first flights got cancelled so I was worried my re-scheduled flights were going to be cancelled too, so it was a relief that they would still be going ahead. To get to Corsica you need to take two flights so it’s important to plan correctly. Before covid, during summer there were flights direct from London, but they have been withdrawn and have not yet been re-instated.
France also introduced their controversial passe sanitaire scheme which would certainly impact the trip, especially the time me and my mum spent together. I of course strongly oppose the scheme (I think it is completely pointless and I’ve been vindicated). I must say I was disappointed to see a few of my friends celebrate it.
That infamous day, me and my mum had a shouting match due to all the frustration. We ended up tearfully hugging it out. Due to circumstances, we couldn’t do everything we had wanted, but we had fun our own way. That very day I drove for the first time after passing my driving test - we made that awful day into something special together. My first drive, my mum’s first time where she could finally relax in the passenger seat when her son finally passed after all these years – and about time too.
Nothing will stop me seeing my mum, I can promise you that. It is tough when your family are far away, in different countries. My parents are both abroad, my aunt who I am extremely close with went to The Gambia and decided to stay there due to her disgust with restrictions. I don’t have much family left in England; another one in my family is due to move back to Sierra Leone soon. It’s tough but I will see my mum.
On to 2022 (and beyond)
For next year there are a few things I want to do.
Am I apprehensive about next year? Absolutely. I sadly don’t have it in me to celebrate New Year’s Eve this year. I am not in the best state mentally. I don’t like the direction the world is going in, not one bit, especially with the development of vaccine passports/Digital IDs and these QR codes everywhere. It’s sad, especially looking at other countries. Germany… Austria… Australia etc. I try to avoid it, but this is the world we could possibly move towards. But I appreciate that I am in England (for now) and not in France, which seems have gone full-on again (I was right, the passe sanitaire is a failure and should be withdrawn… not expanded!) I also ask myself… will a booster be a requirement? I’m not willing to take further shots – will I eventually be banned from sports clubs if the passport schemes are extended – meaning some of my 2022 goals need to be scratched off? It remains to be seen. I know it will be difficult to get to France next year. The angry guard dog is blocking the door to France. That day with the frustrated shouting match me and my mum had during this year’s summer holiday which ended in a tearful hug, will always be burned in my memory. If you disagree with my views (you are well within your right) – but want to respond, please be respectful. I need to let this all out rather than keep it all in. <3
I think outdoor sports will be fine. I hope. They are my everything and I couldn’t imagine life without them.
But I want to think positive as well. So, avoid the doom, and focus on the positive and achieve as much as I can possibly do so, given the circumstances.
Peace and happy new year to you all and see all of you soon.
J x